Do You Love Me
by KLJ-93
Summary: A different take on what could have happened between Jon and T'Pol after her encounter with the Seleya.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Do You Love Me?

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and I most likely never will.

Rating: friendship, romance, fluff, angst

Pairing: Archer and T'pol

Summary: T'pol and Jonathon Archer love each other, but are too stubborn to admit it. Then T'pol starts to "experiment" with trellium. What will Archer do when he finds out?

AN: Everything T/T'p NEVER HAPPENED in this story. Thoughts and bond-speak are represented like _this_. Feel free to e-mail me anytime! Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1: How It All Starts

_Sickbay, 19:46 hours, one day after contact with the Seleya_

T'pol lay on her isolated bio-bed in sickbay. She felt so weak and vulnerable. Underneath the thin, gray blanket that covered her, she was still cold and shaky. Dr. Phlox put her under observation ever since Captain Archer had carried her in from the Seleya. She was declared "unfit for duty" because of the trellium.

The conversation she had with Jonathon still rang throughout her head like one of the loud gongs they used in the _koon-ut-kalifee_ on her home world. She remembered asking… more like telling… him if he could drop her off on an uninhabited planet while they fight the Xindi. He denied it without hesitation. _Why did he not agree to my most logical solution? I must ask __when he comes to check in on me_, She was amazed with herself. Since when did she depend on Jonathon to "check in on her?" She knew that he always did, so that must be the reason for her illogical thoughts. _It must be the trellium still affecting me_, She thought to herself.

Dr. Phlox pulled back the curtain to T'pol's bio-bed. He gave her a large grin and remarked cheerfully, "Ah, Sub Commander, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I feel nauseous and I have cranial pain."

"I'll get you a hypospray." As soon as he said it, he walked over to one of his many cabinets and pulled out three trays. They each had a medicine that could help ease her discomfort. He brought them over to her and said politely, "I have anti-nausea, a sedative, and an acetaminophen."

"I would appreciate everything except for the sedative… please," T'pol said, barely above a whisper.

"You need your rest as well, Sub Commander. I would suggest that you-"

"No sedative!" T'pol interrupted in a slow, loud tone as if wanting to make her point clear and end the discussion. "I want to speak with the Captain, Doctor. I cannot do that if I am asleep, can I?" T'pol said with a slight tone in her voice.

Phlox noticed her emotional response. "Can the Captain not wait?" Phlox asked impatiently.

"No, it is important… personal. You may give me the sedative _after_ our talk. Please… do this for me," T'pol pleaded with unshed tears in her eyes.

Phlox thought a moment. She made it sound as if it would be the end of her world if she did not speak with him. He also noticed the water building up in her eyes and the fact that she sounded as though she were about to cry. Not only that, but he's been noticing their growing friendship over the last three years. He reasoned that her request sounded logical enough.

"Fine, Sub Commander, but I won't forget." Phlox stated firmly. "I'll contact him and ask him to come down here, but only after I give you the anti nausea and acetaminophen."

"Agreed," T'pol sighed.

"Sickbay to bridge," Called Dr. Phlox.

"Tucker here, what can I do for ya?"

"I'm calling for Captain Archer, Commander. Do you know where he is?"

"Well, he's sorta in his ready-room. Been in there for 'bout, uh, two or three hours now."

"Do you mind retrieving him and asking him to come to sickbay?"

"Doctor's orders, huh?"

"Well, orders, yes…but not from me," Phlox joked.

Trip giggled, even though he didn't get the joke. "Give 'em five minutes, or so, Doc."

"Will do, Phlox out."

Trip nodded to Hoshi as if to say "cut the comm. off," and looked out to the other bridge crew. He asked in a suspicious manor, "Anyone know what that was about?"

"No sir, but I believe it would be best if we kept this to ourselves… whatever it is… for security and personal reasons, sir," Stated Malcolm in his rich, British accent.

"Good idea, Malcolm. Now if you'll excuse me, I need ta go get the Cap'n."

Phlox looked over at T'pol, just laying there as if waiting for something that will never come. She looked so depressed, lonesome. She didn't seem like herself ever since they entered the Delphic Expanse. No one did, not even himself. He's been trying to keep up good spirits, he's noticed everyone is, even T'pol.

As he made his way over to her bio-bed, he stated, "Commander Tucker told me that he will try to convince the Captain to come down here."

"What do you mean 'try to convince', Doctor?"

"Phlox noticed how disappointed she looked. "Well, I've been told that he's been in his ready room for about three hours."

"Perhaps he is busy."

"Not the way that Mr. Tucker explained it. Apparently, it's not work-related."

"I only hope that he will come." She felt a wave of disappointment, hope, and longing wash over her entire body, and drenched her in sadness. She wanted him to come to sickbay… _NOW_!

Jonathon stared out of the porthole in his ready room, watching all of the stars as they pass by. He wanted to be alone to sort out the thoughts and emotions that were swelling inside of him. _Is T'pol going to be ok__ay? Hell, am I going to be okay? I just… damn… I can't believe this!"_ He didn't know why he cared for her so deeply. I mean, yeah, they were friends. Maybe that was why. Whatever it was, Jonathon didn't know. He hated this, these emotions, thoughts, questions that couldn't be answered, all nagging in the back of his head like a bad toothache. _Unless… oh no. No, no, no, no, NO! I… I can't love my first office… science officer… my friend. When did this happen, oh, yeah… on that 'fateful' visit to P'Jem."_

He always respected and trusted T'pol, even with his life. He knew that she would never let him down. He even considered her his best friend, if you will.

_"CHIME" _Jonathon's thoughts were interrupted by the door chime. "It had better be important!" He yelled. He was _not_ in the mood for visitors.

"Uh… hey there, Cap'n," Trip said in an unsure voice. "I jus' got a call from Phlox sayin' that-"

"Saying what? Is it about T'pol?" Archer asked excitedly.

"Yeah. He told me that she needed ta talk to ya. It's important."

Archer hurriedly ran for the door, pushing Trip aside. It took him three tries just to push the button that opened the door. When he finally did, he ran for the turbo lift.

"Damn," whispered Trip to himself. He walked back onto the bridge only to see that everyone's eyes were diverted to the turbo lift area.

"Bloody hell! You'd think the man was being chased by Dr. Phlox and one of his bloody animals, with all due respect." Malcolm muttered.

"The day's not over yet, Malcolm." Trip retorted.

Archer had too much on his mind to be noticing all of the stares he got from running down the corridor like a maniac. All he was concerned about was seeing T'pol as soon as possible. Ever since he found out about her and Trip's neuropressure sessions, he's been hurt, jealous. Not to mention, angry at Trip for reasons he didn't know why he didn't know why. He knew that since his sister had died, he couldn't sleep. He also knew that neuropressure was done half naked in order to reach the pressure points. He felt guilty for being so selfish.

After what seemed like forever, he reached the white, glass platted sickbay doors. When he got inside, he did not like what he saw. T'pol's hair was a rat's nest, she had dark bags under her eyes, she was drenched in sweat, and she looked as if she had lost weight. He glanced over at Phlox, who was doing something in his office. Archer turned his head to see T'pol again. She was staring at him. Whenever their eyes met, his palms got ridiculously sweaty. _Must be a curse._ He thought. He slowly made his way over to her bio-bed. The whole time, they never took their eyes off each other.

"T'pol," He cleared his throat, "T'pol… you needed to speak with me?" He asked nervously.

"No, I _wanted_ to speak with you. There is a small difference."

Jonathon chuckled at her attempt at "Vulcan humor, "as everyone called it. His nervousness was starting to melt away. He was still curious about what was so urgent.

"What did you _want_ to talk about?" He asked politely, pulling up a stool to sit on by her bio-bed.

"I was… curious… as to why you didn't grant my request." Archer could tell she was trying her hardest to sound as unemotional as she could.

"If you're referring to the request in that I drop you off on some uninhabited planet while the rest of us go off to finish the Xindi… I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Well… I'd be abandoning you, T'pol. Who in their right mind would ever go so far as to do that? Besides, I can't lose my best frie-… first officer." He looked away from her to hide his embarrassment.

"You corrected yourself. What were you about to say?"

"Never mind."

"Jonathon," She said in a warning tone.

He looked at her, surprised about what she had said and how she said it. It reminded him about his mother when ever he'd done something wrong. "I was… um… just going to say my… best… you know… friend." He looked at her sheepishly.

"I am… touched… by your words. May I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Would you mind if I called you Jonathon? You see, I too consider you a dear friend, perhaps the best one I have. It is obvious that I will need 'someone to lean on'."

"What about Trip? I would've guessed that you'd become good friends since you've been doing neuropressure. I guess I, once again, let my imagination run away with me.

That hit her square in the stomach. She didn't care for Trip in the way she cared for Jonathon. _I wonder what he meant by 'once again let my imagination run away with me'. What else has he been thinking incorrectly?_ "Even though the Commander and I have gotten to communicate more, does not mean that I consider him a good friend of mine. We have become acquaintances."

"Oh. I'm sorry for bringing that up, T'pol. It's none of my business. I shouldn't have even asked. But yes, you can call me Jonathon."

"Well, Jonathon, I believe it _is_ your business considering the fact that that I feel comfortable confining in you." She paused and looked down at her hands, which Jonathon noticed she was fidgeting, and took a deep breath. "I… trust you, Jonathon," She said, barely above a whisper. The words touched his heart. He wondered if she would allow him to cover her small, bony hands with his own. _Ah, what's the worst that could happen?_ He slowly pushed his hand forward towards hers. He felt a small, warm hand on his. He looked down to see T'pol's hand there, and then he looked back up and stared into her chocolate eyes. She beat him to it. He wanted to say everything that was on his mind, but couldn't find the right words.

"I have all of my trust, faith, and belief in you. I only wish you could see how much," He told her instead. He knew that was only a fourth of what he felt.

"I can," She told him softly.

"Really?"

"I can see it in your eyes whenever you talk to me or look in my direction." She saw something else too, but wasn't going to mention that because she didn't know exactly what it was.

They sat there, staring into each other's eyes and holding hands for the longest time. Jonathon noticed and how tired he was and looked at the chronometer on the sickbay wall. It was 21:52 hours. _Wow. Two hours have passed already?_ He looked down and saw T'pol almost asleep. "Go to sleep, T'pol. You need your rest."

"So do you, Jonathon. Please… stay here until I fall asleep."

"Okay." He watched as her eyelids closed and didn't take his eyes off of her lovely face until her breathing became slow. He was extremely tired. He thought that maybe I can just rest my eyes for a while. He lay his head down next to T'pol's on her pillow and let sleep wash over him.

Too bad Phlox came out of his office.

He walked over to the couple and gently shook his Captains shoulder. He awoke with a start. "Doctor, you scared me." He looked around and was suddenly embarrassed. "I… guess I should be going now." He got up and looked down at the woman of his dreams. "She won't need a sedative."

"So I see."

Jonathon waited until the doctor left, and then brushed his lips against T'pol's forehead, then left.

END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Do You Love Me?

_Next Morning, 7:00hrs_

Archer awoke in his bed with Porthos on his stomach. The little dog was still asleep, snoring slightly. He reached up to turn on the head light and looked at his chronometer. _"6:12. Might as well get up."_ He pushed Porthos aside and jumped out of bed. He started to undress as he headed for the shower. Turning the knob to the right, he let the hot water stream over his relaxed body. All the sudden, out of _nowhere_, T'pol popped into his head! He remembered seeing what she looked like and the emotion written on her face whenever she looked at him. Oh, the torment that must have been for a Vulcan! He couldn't help but to feel sympathy for her. _"So much for a relaxing shower.__"_ He quickly soaped up his body and rinsed off. Turning off the hot water, he tried to push T'pol out of his head.

Whenever he thought of T'pol, he thought of Trip. Whenever he thought of Trip, he thought of their neuropressure sessions. Whenever he thought about their neuropressure sessions, he got jealous and hurt.

He put on his uniform, grabbed something from his desk drawer, and headed out his door.

…………………………….

T'pol turned in her bio-bed. She smelt a familiar smell on her pillow. Her eyes were still closed, but that odor opened up her senses. She put her head where she smelled it strongest. She opened her eyes. Jonathon! She remembered now! He was here last night and was until she fell asleep, but she didn't see him lay his head down the whole time. _"Of course, he must have stayed longer after I fell asleep. If my pillow smells like him, he must have… put his head here. Why does this comfort me?"_ She sat up in bed and took deep, even breaths. She was confused. The one smell she once found repulsive, now comforted her?! How?! Why?! _"It can't be. Vulcan's can't feel this, but I have for some time. Why?! What is this emotion and how can I suppress__ it if I__ don't know__ what it is__? If only Jonathon were here."_

She needed to find out. The only person she could talk to about this is the man himself…

……………………………

Jonathon pressed the button to open the door to the mess hall and walked in towards the "buffet". All he saw was eggs, bacon, and toast. He was planning an impromptu breakfast with T'pol to keep her company in sickbay until he had to go on duty. He knew she despised meat, so he told the steward, "Crewman Mesa, right?"

"Yes, sir! What may I do for you?" Archer noticed the crewman seemed glad his Captain knew his name.

"Um… I'd like two bowls of plomeek broth and two cups of hot mint tea please."

The crewman seemed surprised that his _Human_ captain was ordering _Vulcan_ food. Archer noticed this and was highly amused by it. "Please hold on, sir."

Jonathon glanced around the mess hall at his crew enjoying themselves, some giving him the _why-aren't-you-in-the-Captains-Mess_ look. This only made his grin expand. He turned back to the "buffet" and made impatient sighs as he waited. Finally, Crewman Mesa came out with his order on a tray and handed it to him. "Here you go, sir. Have a nice day."

"You too, Mesa," Archer said over his shoulder. As he walked down the corridor, he couldn't help but to feel excited and nervous. He wondered how T'pol was doing and thought about the progress she might be making.

"Hey there, Cap'n! How's life?" Asked an enthusiastic Trip.

"Um, good… I guess." Jonathon said in a dead-pan manor.

"Sure. What's that?"

"What's what?" Asked Archer innocently.

"There's something in your pocket." Trip said with a rude tone.

"Well, look at you! You, my friend, have good eyes!"

"Cap'n, seriously."

"Mind your own business, Commander!"

"My bad, sir! You know, with all due respect", Trip started sarcastically; "You've been actin' _real_ different lately!" Trip smirked and stormed off towards engineering. Archer just stared as his once-best-friend went the other way. He couldn't stop wondering where that angry outburst of his came from. He's _never_yelled at him before with such tone and hatred singing so very loudly in his voice before! He took a few deep breaths and continued his way to sickbay.

………………………….

Phlox observed T'pol as she stared at the white, glass-plated doors. He noticed how her mood is better when the Captain is near her, and down when he's not. _"Fascinating. A moody Vulcan! Perhaps I should scan her."_ He went to the cabinet over one of his animals and took out his scanner. Walking over to her, he tried to get her attention. "Sub Commander, what is the matter? You seem a bit down."

"Vulcan's do not get 'down'." By the look on Phloxes face, she knew he was not buying it.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Phlox asked as if he's been friends with T'pol for a long while.

"It is nothing. I just wish that-"

Just as she was about to say it, Jonathon walked through the door with a tray in his hands, a smile on his face, and a something in his pocket. "Hello. How are we doing today?" Archer asked.

"Well, I'm doing well. I was just about to scan T'pol to see if she is doing as well as I am," Stated Phlox cheerfully.

"Well don't let me interrupt." He smiled and put the tray on the table beside T'pol's bed. Then he grabbed a seat far enough away to give them space, but close enough to see what was going on. Phlox turned on his scanner and began his analysis. He made a lot of humming noises and strange facial expressions. "You have no more trellium in your system! Sub Commander, I will release you tomorrow morning for light duty. I'm overly proud of the progress you've made!" Phlox smiled one of his 'Denobeulen grins and patted Archer on the shoulder. "I will leave you two to visit."

"Okay, Doctor. Wow… I'm glad with the progress you made as well, T'pol."

"Thank you, Jonathon. What did you bring?"

"Plomeek broth and hot mint tea for two. I wanted to see how you were doing and visit with you."

"Most kind. I did not know you ate plomeek broth. I am glad you are trying something different," She said as she sipped her breakfast.

"It's not that, but it is a plus side. Anyway, I know you don't like meat, and that was all they had on the menu."

"You eat meat in the Captain's mess," T'pol pointed out.

"Yes, I do, but I'm not as close to you as I am now. And I'm sure you didn't apply your nasal-numbing agent today, did you?"

"You have a good point." She paused while looking at his face. His smile was replaced by a frown. She didn't like that. "Jonathon, you seem 'down' as Dr. Phlox puts it. Why is this?"

"Well… it's nothing."

"If you do not wish to discuss it-"

"It's not that. It's about Trip. I'm a little… upset with him. It's nothing, really."

"It is for you. If it makes you feel any better, I too am having minor problems with the commander. The neuropressure I am instructing him through is… unsettling for me. Being with someone, whom I barely can call a trusted friend, late at night with candles lit, is not what I define as a 'comfortable situation'. And before you get any ideas, lit candles induces relaxation. It is part of the technique."

"It's really none of my business, T'pol." "_Is it me, or have I said this before to her?__ At least I know that Trip and T'pol aren't together and never will be." _

"Yes, it is. I trust you to a great point in where I feel comfortable telling you things I would not tell just anyone. You are a very dear friend to me. I believe I told all of this yesterday."

_"Oh! Now I remember."_ "That's right. I'm sorry. I guess it's a little hard to believe that we have grown so close. The first week I'd spent with you, I wasn't very… _fond_… of you. But my perspective has changed a lot."_ "A little too much, maybe."_

"It is alright."

"Now, back to Trip, if this whole neuropressure is making you uncomfortable, you need to tell Phlox. I know he'll understand."

"I shall do that. How is your plomeek broth?"

"Better than meat, if I may say so myself! It tastes a little like tomato soup."

T'pol stared at him as he happily ate. He seemed to relax after she told him about Trip. She was glad that the gleam in his beautiful, green eyes was back. It suited him. _"I am being emotional again. What does it matter? He knows who I am."_ "So what is the conflict between you and the commander?"

He didn't want to lose her trust, so he decided to tell her the embarrassing truth. "W-well, I was, umm… I was a little… geez," Archer mumbled and stuttered at first. "I might have been a little… you're going to think this is just a stupid, illogical human emotion, but I was… jealous." Archer suddenly became interested in his meal, using his spoon as a sort of shovel. He felt his face getting hot as her eyes burned holes in him.

"Jealous… a _very_ illogical emotion, yet I do not think it to be 'stupid' you feel… felt… that way. May I ask for a more indulging answer?"

"You too mean a lot to me, I felt our friendship dissolving, and I was worried that Trip, the 'gentleman' that he is, was going to do something… you _and_ I wouldn't feel comfortable with. I know him."

_"Hmm, possessive and protective. All very agreeable traits of a good friend. Perhaps more…"_ "I understand. Thank you for being so thoughtful and caring for me. But there is no need to be jealous, Jonathon."

"I know, and I'm _really_ sorry." He looked at the chronometer on the wall. "I better get to duty."

"Will you come to visit me again?"

"How about I walk you to your quarter's tomorrow morning after Phlox releases you."

"That sound's agreeable."

"See you 'till then. Here, let me take your plate."

"Thank you, Jonathon."

"You're welcome, T'pol. Oh, before I forget, here." He dug his free hand into his pocket and retrieved a small, velvet box. "It's a good-luck charm. If you have it with you, it's believed it'll bring you good fortune."

"Thank you. The design is… magnificent, Jonathon! This is the same gem used in the IDIC necklace."

"That's why I got it for you. I found it a long time ago on a trade planet. I never knew when to give it to you."

"Thank you, again. This means a lot to me." All she got in return was a smile. It was all she needed.

He was out the door before she put the necklace around her neck. She was left alone with her loneliness of not having Jonathon by her side. She heard the doors open and shot her head up, thinking it was the one she secretly desired. But no, it was Trip. She quickly lay her head down and closed her eyes, wondering if he'll think she's asleep. She heard Phlox direct him in her direction. She heard his footsteps grow closer, and then felt hot breath on her face. Her eyes opened and there he was! _Too _close. "Yes, Commander?"

"Oh, goody, yer awake. Jus' seein' how yer doin'."

"Fine."

"Look, about neuropressure, people are talkin'."

"About what?" She sat up as if being interested in what he was saying.

"Us. Me goin' to yer quarters late at night is the top of rumor-mill."

"Perhaps you should talk to the doctor and find a new treatment."

"Good idea. Thanks fer understandin'. Get well soon." With that, he was headed towards Phlox. "Hey Phlox, look, I need a new sleep aid. Neuropressure ain't workin' fer me."

"Say no more. Come, come." Phlox opened the cabinet above his desk. "This is something I came up with myself! It treats insomnia for up to four days! It targets the part of the brain in which your sleep cycle, the-"

"I'll try it! I'll come in t'night an' see how it works. G'bye."

"Good-bye, Commander. Don't forget!"

T'pol watched, relieved she had quiet time to think about the emotions, and who sparked them, that still made her stomach cringe.

Love, not_ cherish_, _love_! Jonathon. _"I love Jonathon."_ She laid her head back into her pillow and tried to pass time by sleeping it away 'till she could see Jonathon again.

END OF CHAPTER 2

Next chapter will be out soon. Please review:)


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry this took so long!! Big school project and my dog had puppies!! (kinda gross when they pop out!!)

Also, there isn't bond-speak _yet_, but there will be _very soon_. Slight spoilers for _Bounty_.

Thoughts are represented like _"this". _Enjoy!!

_Sickbay, 7:00 hrs._

Archer quietly crept towards T'pol's bed, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Captain, we need to speak," He heard Phlox say, dead serious. "It is about T'pol. Please follow me to my office." Phlox motioned for Jonathon to follow. As Phlox led his Captain to his office, he couldn't help but to think of how he would break the news to him.

"What is it Doctor," started Jonathon as he closed the door behind him, "is she okay?"

"It's her… emotions. She has a great hold on most of them, but a few, towards… one in particular, Captain."

"I'm listening."

"Have you noticed any strange things about the way she is acting?"

"She has said and done many things I'd never expect from her, but all good things. Why?"

"As you walk her to her quarters today, please talk to her about something."

"Something?"

"Yes. The dream she has been having since about… well, I don't remember, but for a while now. I don't know _what_ she is dreaming about, but I do know _who_."

"How do you know?"

"Because the only words I can make out are, _"No, Jonathon! Don't leave me!"_ Then she wakes up and acts like nothing has even happened. Very strange, as if her subconscious is trying to tell her something."

"Okay. Well, I came to get her, so…"

"Of course, be my guest. But before that, let me run a few tests on both of you. I have noticed abnormal cranial activity in both of your brains. Perhaps a pathogen, perhaps not. Whatever it is, it is identical in both of you."

"What do you think it is?"

"I am hoping my scanner will answer that for us."

Phlox sat up and directed Archer out the door. As soon as the office door closed, both men walked over to T'pol. She looked very content and peaceful. "Should I wake her up?" Archer asked, smiling down at her. He noticed she was wearing the charm necklace he got for her.

"Please," stated Phlox. As soon as the words left his mouth, Jonathon gently tapped her arm. She wouldn't wake up. Archer looked up at a very amused Phlox, and decided to share the smile. He, again, shook her arm, only harder this time. She didn't wake up. Archer leaned his head down and whispered, "T'pol." She wouldn't wake up. "Damn. She sure can sleep!" Exclaimed Jonathon. Phlox giggled and went over to T'pol's left side and said loudly, "T'pol, the Captain is here to take you back to your quarters." She wouldn't wake up. Jonathon couldn't contemplate why she wasn't waking up. _"__I'm about to go on duty and I wanted to have that talk with her. I wish she'd wake up."_ He was starting to get concerned about T'pol. _Finally_, she woke up!

"Ahh, Sub-Commander, you're finally awake. Please sit up, Captain sit down, and let me run a few scans."

Phlox turned on his scanner and started to walk around them both, making humming noises and twisting his face. When he was done, He turned off his scanner and put it in his pocket. "Just as I suspected. Once I run tests and come up with a hypothesis, I will call a meeting upon both of you. But whatever it is isn't fatal or contagious."

"What are you speaking of, Doctor," T'pol asked groggily.

"I will explain once _I _know. Your clothes are over there, Sub-Commander, all nice and clean. Captain, whenever she is ready to leave." Phlox gave a stern look to remind Jonathon to talk to T'pol. "I know," Jonathon mouthed. Phlox smiled, nodded his head, and walked back into his office.

"I'll let you get dressed."

"Wait… how long did it take to wake me up?"

"Not too long, but it was a bit difficult," Jonathon chuckled. "How did you sleep?"

"I had a disturbing dream. Other than that, it was fine, thank you. And you?"

"Pretty good. Well, I'll let you get dressed."

"I'll be out in a moment."

Jonathon walked out of the curtained area and sat on a stool by the door. He felt something, not a headache, but _something_ in the very back of his head. It felt strange and… comforting, soothing. He tried concentrating on it more, but he couldn't make anything out. _"Maybe it was that thing Phlox was talking about."_ Jonathon thought. _"If I'm feeling it, and me and T'pol have the same thing, maybe she's sensing it too. I'll have to ask her._" Now that he actually thought about it, he realized something. He's been feeling it for a while, ever since that bounty hunter tried to turn him in to the Klingons. He also remembered how T'pol was acting when he came back, and Malcolm and Trip, Dr. Phlox. _"Strange__."_ He was never told why.

"I'm ready, Jonathon," T'pol said unemotionally (or so she thought), but Jonathon could hear, and strangely feel, the smile in her voice. It made him feel like a kid again.

"Awesome! Let's go." Jonathon smiled. He felt something hit him square in the head, but it wasn't pain, in fact, it felt… fulfilling. No, that's not the word… wonderful! "Are you hungry?" Jonathon asked, trying to get over his childish emotions.

"No thank you."

As they walked down the corridor, they discussed whatever Phlox found about them. Jonathon didn't know what was going on, but T'pol had a good idea of what it was. She decided to meditate and test her logic once Jonathon left for duty.

The trip to her quarters took what felt like a matter of seconds. As she pushed the button to open her door, Jonathon decided to start the conversation about her dreams. "Hey, T'pol, I know that dreams can be difficult to deal with and figure out. If you'd like to talk about it…"

"I do not wish to make you late for your duty."

"You won't. And if I am late, I'll say it was for medical purposes."

"That would be a lie."

"Not exactly. I'm counseling you. That is medical-related, right?"

"Please come in." She stepped aside and Jonathon followed her in. She sat on the bed and he sat in her desk chair.

"This dream I have been having for some time, it is about someone I know."

Jonathon knew exactly who she was talking about. He found it amusing that she was replacing his name with_ someone I know._ "Uh-huh." He said encouragingly.

"In my dream, we are in a small room. I tell him some sort of… secret that I have been… hiding for a long time. When I tell him, he turns away from me and… that is when I _usually_ wake up."

Jonathon thought for a moment. _"No Jonathon! Don't leave me!"_ He remembered Phlox telling him that he always heard T'pol say that when she was asleep. Did this mean…"

"Usually?"

"Yes. Sometimes I don't wake up at that moment. It goes on. He completely ignores me until he learns _why_ I told him. I never see how this horrid dream ends. I can never get it out of my head during the day. I can never…" She couldn't finish her sentence, for she started crying. He felt a sharp _something_hit him in square in head. This time, it wasn't pleasant.

Before she could finish, Jonathon rushed over to her and silenced her by putting his hand on her cheek and wiping away her falling tears. "T'pol, hey, it's okay."

T'pol took a deep breath and said between gasps with a broken voice, "No it's not! This is real! This can really happen!"

"If it does happen, I know you can handle it. You're strong, T'pol, mentally and physically. And if you need guidance, I'm here."

T'pol could say nothing. She wasn't used to crying and didn't like the feeling. She felt her throat constricting and her head pounding… she couldn't think straight, talk, breathe without struggle. She didn't know what to do! All she could think of was to seek comfort from her closest friend. She couldn't help herself but to fall into his arms. She scooted closer to him and laid her head on his masculine chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, letting the tears fall.

Jonathon was surprised for a moment, but knew she needed a friend… needed him. He encircled his arms around her and laid his head atop hers. She snuggled closer to him and breathed in his unique sent.

"Let it all out, T'pol. I'm here and I won't tell _anyone_, alright." He continued whispering soft nonsense into her delicate ear until she would settle…

……………………………

"Where's the Cap'n?" Asked a moody Trip.

"I don't know Commander, but I believe he is in sickbay. He said he would be a bit late," Replied Malcolm.

"Well, I heard he was going to walk the Sub-Commander back to her quarters. After all she went through on the Selaya, she might need to talk to someone, Vulcan or not," Hoshi said.

"Where did ya hear that?" Asked Trip, twisting his face.

"I'm friends with Elizabeth Cutler, sir." Hoshi retorted, saying _sir_with attitude.

"I believe it best we just… forget about it," Said Malcolm with a stern voice. "It's none of our business."

Trip was not in the mood and knew he shouldn't be setting this kind of example in front of subordinates. "I'll be in Engineerin'."

…………………………..

Jonathon and T'pol still sat cuddled together. The crying finally stopped and the silence was comfortable.

"You know T'pol, I'm glad you can trust me enough to tell me anything. It makes me feel… special, I guess."

"You should, Jonathon," she whispered softly. "I trust no one else like I do you. Thank you for helping me through this. I owe you…"

"No, you don't. This is enough for me, T'pol." _"More than you know."_

"What was that? I did not hear that last part."

"I said 'this is more than enough for me'."

"You did not say anything else?"

"Nope. You must still be tired," Jonathon joked.

"Indeed, I am."

"I'll go ahead and let you rest, T'pol. If you'd like, I could bring us both some lunch?"

"Yes, that sounds agreeable. I will see you at 0:30hrs, Jonathon."

"Alright! Sweet dreams." Then, he left.

_"I hope so, t'hai'la, I hope so."_ T'pol thought to herself. She lit her meditation candles and hoped her calculations on her and Jonathon's mystery was true.

…………………………………..

As Jonathon arrived on the bridge, he saw everyone give him a smiling face. "Good morning everybody," Jonathon exclaimed cheerfully.

"Good morning sir!" said the bridge crew in unison.

Hoshi sat up and asked, "How is Sub-Commander T'pol doing, sir?"

"She's doing better than expected," He started with evident pride in his voice. "She'll be back on duty tomorrow morning. Hey, where's Trip?"

"Um, sir, he's not in the best of moods today. We _all_ discovered that this morning, sir," explained Malcolm.

"But to answer your question, sir, he's in engineering," Hoshi said.

"Thank you. Malcolm, you have the bridge."

"Aye, sir."

…………………………….

Jonathon was, once again, in the corridor of _Enterprise_ on his way to engineering. _"I'm willing to bet he's going to shoo me out of engineering the second I get in there."_ Jonathon thought angrily to himself. He was not in the mood to get on Trip's bad side, but then again, nothing can ruin his day. His morning with T'pol really put him in a good mood; his stubborn Commander isn't going to get in the way of that.

Walking hastily down the corridor, he finally reached Engineering. He hesitated in pushing the button to open the doors, but knew he had to. _"Okay, one, two, three."_ He pushed the button and the doors opened. As he walked in he saw Trip talking to one of his crewman.

"Look, sometimes you gotta get yer hands dirty. Try jumping it a few times an' seeing how that works out, OK?" Trip smiled and gave her a pat on the back. His smile quickly faded when he saw Jonathon standing there. Trip jumped down the ladder and walked reluctantly over to him. "Yes, Cap'n?"

"We need to talk, Trip. I wanted to apologize for yelling the other day. I wasn't in the best of moods. But, that's no excuse. I'm sorry."

"It's OK, but I don't have time for chat. I'm busy, so…"

"I'll leave." _"Yep, I knew he was going to shoo me out. Figures."_ He walked towards the door and to the bridge.

………………………………

T'pol sat cross-legged on her meditation pillow. Whenever she thought of Jonathon, she either felt his emotions or heard his thoughts. Sometimes, both. There could only be one explanation: they were bonded. _"I wonder how I should tell him… if I should tell him.__ I'm just glad it was him, not someone else. I love him."_ T'pol stopped meditating because she liked the emotions she was experiencing. She loved to feel content and… happy.

END CHAPTER 3

Please review. The next chapter will be out sooner or later.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Thanks for stickin' with me and this story! Words represented like _"this"_ is bond-speak.

CHAPTER 4

T'pol couldn't understand _when_ this happened! _"Bonded with Jonathon?" _She was very content and… happy… that her subconscious sought out his. She had so many questions. _"How will he feel, what will our future have in store for us? How will I tell him?"_ She knew that he promised to have lunch with her this afternoon …

……………………………..

Archer sat in his Captains chair, observing the people around him. He remembered telling T'pol that he was going to have lunch with her. Just the thought of being around her made him feel relaxed, yet giddy.

Trip walked onto the bridge, arms folded across his chest, no smile.

_"And so it begins,"_ thought Jonathon. "Hey, Trip!" Jonathon exclaimed, knowing he wasn't going to get an ample amount of the same excited mood he was displaying from him.

"Hey, Jon," Trip said normally.

_"Better than nothing,"_ Jonathon thought to himself. He noticed a distant look on his friends face. "Trip, can I see you in my ready room for a moment?"

"Sure, Cap'n," answered a wary Trip. He followed Jonathon into his ready room and took a seat in one of the chairs. "What is it, sir?"

"We didn't get to talk about what's been eating you alive. I want to know what's going on. It seems like our friendship is… dissolving. I don't like it too much, do you?"

"No, Jon, I really don't. All b'cause I saw something in your pocket and then you yelled at me, then I overreacted. It's stupid, really."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Trip. Can we forget about it and move on?"

"Yeah, why not," giggled trip. They both got up and pulled each other into a bear-hug. "Well, I got to go, Trip. Promised T'pol I'd have lunch with her. Can you mind the store?"

"Yep."

"Alright then, see ya."

……………………………….

On the way to the mess hall, Jonathon felt that _something _in the back of his head for the second time today. He was starting to get concerned about it, but really didn't know what to make of it. Sometimes it was comforting, other times it was overwhelming pain – pain you couldn't take an aspirin for. He desperately wanted to go and talk to Phlox, but couldn't break his promise to T'pol.

T'pol.

Dreams of them, both night and day, haunt him. Some made him wake up drenched in sweat, most he slept through and woke up in the morning with a smile on his face.

He lost his appetite for food, now only hungry for what's been transpiring between them. He went over to the nearest comm. system and pressed the button. "Archer to T'pol," he stated as professionally as he could.

"T'pol here," she said with the Vulcan tone she usually has over the comm.

"Do you mind if I stop by your quarters? We need to talk about something." Something, which felt like nervousness, hit him square in the head.

He wasn't nervous before he called her.

"Come by as soon as you can, Captain. I will have tea ready."

"Thanks. I'll bring salads. Archer out," he closed quickly, dashing for the mess hall.

…………………………………

T'pol sat on her meditation cushions waiting for Jonathon to arrive and the tea to be done brewing. She was feeling apprehensive and wanted to meditate, although she knew it wasn't going to do her any good. Nothing could change the fact that she _had_ to tell him that they are bonded, proven worthy for each other. She knew he was Human, but she had learned to accept that almost two years ago. It was about time she had confessed her true feelings, even if those feelings and emotions were not mutual and not very Vulcan. The Jonathon in her day dreams and meditation accepted her…

The door chime rang, startling her out of her reverie. "Come," she commanded in a low purr.

Jonathon walked in the door and sat the salads on her desk. He slowly, warily went over to her and sat down on the meditation cushion on the opposite side of her. The candlelight across her face was mesmerizing to him. She was even wearing the charm necklace he had given her. He smelled chamomile tea and gave her a smile. She knew he didn't like any other tea.

"Making tea?"

"Yes." She paused. Taking in a deep breath, she said, "Jonathon, we need to talk about something. It has to do with the brain scans Phlox is observing. I believe I may know what it is."

The only response she got was a nod of his head.

"Have you ever heard-"

Her sentence was interrupted by her comm. unit going off. "Phlox to T'pol." She made a barely audible sigh and got up to answer her call, "T'pol here."

"I have an answer to those brain scans. If you could please bring the Captain with you," He said, knowing the comm. line was not private.

"We'll be right there. T'pol out."

She pivoted around to face Jonathon. He had already stood up and blew the candles out. She walked over to him and put her mouth close to his ear, "I hope the Doctors conclusion is the same as mine."

"What is your conclusion?" He whispered back.

"You'll see." She put her hand on his chest and gave him a small, small smile. "Come, we need to go to sickbay."

The walk to sickbay was silent, but comfortable. The passing crewmen either gave nods, smiles, or both. They never spoke. Jonathon and T'pol thought that was kind of strange. Little did they know, they were walking _pretty _close together.

They arrived at sickbay all too soon. Walking through the sickbay doors, they found Phlox scanning over the brain scans and rushing around sickbay. "Doctor, you needed to see us," asked T'pol politely.

"Yes, I did. Please, have a seat."

Jonathon and T'pol took a seat on the same bio-bed and stared in Phlox's direction.

"This is your brain scan, Captain. If you look closely at these scans, you'll see waves. This is your brain evolving, becoming more… Vulcan."

"What!" "_Vulcan, how… WHAT!"_

"Captain, your brain is not Vulcan, but it is developing features a Vulcan has. Like, for example, you are becoming a telepath."

"Humans aren't telepathic, Doctor!"

"No, but you are. I'm also reading some changes in your –"

"Just tell me what I'm going to experience, please."

"Very well. You _may_ notice an increase in hearing capability, and you _may_ become more emotional."

Jonathon was stunned silent. Becoming more Vulcan was not on his to-do list! "_What could be causing this?!"_

"And for you, T'pol, you may notice yourself becoming emotional, yet not as much as an average Vulcan."

"Meaning…"

"You will have more emotions, but they won't be hard to suppress. You understand that Humans are emotional, but not at all like the Vulcan's, before the Great Awakening, for your people occurred. Correct?"

"Yes."

"You see, both of you are exchanging personal traits in which are controlled by your brain."

Archer looked surprised. "Uh-huh."

"Almost as if you are 'sharing' a brain."

"Sharing?"

"Jonathon, we are bonded," T'pol exclaimed impatiently. "Before you ask, a 'bond' is when two Vulcan's share thoughts, images, and can even communicate." T'pol got up and began pacing. "You may have been noticing dreams involving me, emotions or thoughts that were not yours to begin with – feeling them in the back of your mind, knowing what I'm thinking without asking me, becoming more possessive of me, becoming more attached to me, feeling… just different! And surely, you must have –"

Jonathon got up and hurriedly gripped her shoulders firmly. "T'pol… T'pol, I _have_ noticed everything. That's the reason I scheduled a lunch with you. I thought maybe we could talk about it. How long have you been suspecting this?"

"A few days." She looked at the ground sheepishly, "I am sorry for becoming… emotional. I felt… impatient… with you."

Phlox watched, amused at the exchange between the two. Obviously, Jonathon didn't know the importance of their bond. T'pol saw it too.

"Jonathon, you understand that a bond for a Vulcan is like a marriage for a Human. Instead of a joining of two people, this is a joining of two minds. In order for that to have happened, a Vulcan priest has to initiate it, or _both _parties have to want it… maybe even _need_ it." At that said, she looked down, _embarrassed. _

Jonathon gently lifted her chin up with his thumb and stared deep into her eyes, her deep, beautiful, emotional eyes. Both were oblivious that Phlox was still in the room, so he did the right thing. He cleared his throat, loudly, and said, "Well, I'm glad that this is now out in the open. If you have any questions or concerns, you know where to find me. Also, I understand that you will want this to be kept a secret. And, not to mention, this is the first Human/Vulcan bonding. I'd like to observe and study this."

"As long as you are not going to be like a 'mother hen', I… we… suppose that will be fine," T'pol stated with a twinge of humor, which was noticed.

"We could even help out by writing a report about anything interesting we find," Jonathon said. T'pol gave him a stare that said "I-hope-you-are-kidding" and was about to speak her mind when he corrected himself, "I mean about the bond." He turned to T'pol and felt her, rather than saw her, take a sigh of relief. _"Whew."_

"Shall we go talk about this in a more private place?"

"Yeah, that would be a smart idea."

…………………………………..

By the time they arrived in T'pol's room, the tea was cold and the candles were back to their hard form. Jonathon couldn't help himself, "T'pol, I'm really honored that you chose me to be your bondmate. To be honest, I've had really strong feelings for you for a while now. Actually, I..."

T'pol knew he was babbling again and could only think of one way to make him stop. She cupped his cheeks in her small, strong hands and gently brushed her lips across his.

Yep, that shut him up.

He stared blankly into her eyes and smiled. Her hands dropped to his chest and she said, "Jonathon, do you love me… as much as I love you?"

"I've loved you for a long time, T'pol."

_"I now know that."_ Archer looked around. "What?"

_"As I said, we can communicate through our bond."_ She had a sparkle of amusement in her eyes.

_"This will be very convenient. __I'm really enjoying this bond."_ He said, happily._"__Do you love me?__"_ He "asked" seriously.

"For a while. In fact I –"

Before she could continue, he put his hand behind her head and pulled her to him, not kissing her yet. Once he had her full attention, he caressed her cheek and ear with his right hand and kissed her fully on her lips. They were so soft and full and… sexy.

Everything about her was beautiful. Just as the kiss was about to deepen, the comm. unit went off. "Tucker to Archer," said Trip.

Jonathon reluctantly pulled away and pressed the button to open his link. "Yes?"

"Sorry ta bother ya sir, but the Doc wanted me ta tell ya that you are gonna take the day off."

"Thank you, Archer out."

As soon as he closed the link and turned around, T'pol slithered her arms around him. He returned the gesture and whispered in her ear, "I'm extremely happy this happened to us. This is more than I could ever ask for."

"Jonathon, I feel… happy. I wouldn't want anyone other than you. _Promise me one thing."_

_"Anything."_

_"That we will communicate and not let our differences get in the way of… us."_

_"I would never let that happen. I love you too much."_ He was about to kiss her again, when she beat him to it. She rummaged her hands through his hair and deepened the kiss. This felt _so_ right! She began taking off his shirt…

……………………………………

The next morning, Jonathon and T'pol laid together in her… their bed, their legs entwined under the comforter. Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her head lay upon his masculine chest. His arms were wrapped possessively around her and his head was near hers.

"Jonathon, we need to discuss our future. Where we are going to live, how we are going to become married."

"Don't forget our position in Starfleet. _We'll figure it out, T'pol, one step at a time."_

_"Yes__, of course…__ We should get ready for our shift__, T'hy'la."_

"What does 't'hy'la' mean?'

_"One I love."_

_"Well then, T'hy'la, shall we start getting ready?"_

_"Yes, and also, I believe I will start wearing the charm you gave me on duty. It seems to give me good luck."_

END OF CHAPTER 4

Don't think this story is over.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: This is the last chapter in this story, but I am currently working on a sequel.

AN: This story has major spoilers for every episode involving trellium.

AN: This takes place three weeks after chapter 4.

CHAPTER 5

_(Three weeks later)_

T'pol hurriedly grabbed an ev-suit and threw it on over her dirty uniform. After she locked down her helmet, she pushed open the cargo bay doors in search of only one thing. This one thing will help her feel the emotions her Human bondmate will need from her. She noticed it helped in socializing, and she'll need to build up an immunity to trellium so that the _Enterprise_ will be safe from them; the Xindi. They tried to destroy Earth, thinking that in the future, Earth was going to destroy them. Their new mission was to go and seek them out. They couldn't let Earth down, and she couldn't let Jonathon – or his crew – down. Therefore, it was logical she start "building an immunity" to trellium.

At least, that's her excuse.

In reality, she, however, is not only doing this for him; she is also doing this for herself. The way the trellium makes her feel, the wonderful emotions it brought out in her! A few weeks after starting to take small amounts, she noticed a change in her. She noticed how she also wanted it more and more, how she _needed_ it more and more! In order to keep this from Jonathon, she'd have to put up her mental shields. The only (well not only) problem, he was already starting to suspect something.

As she got the amount she needed, she headed for the doors. Taking of her ev-suit, she hid her horrible treasure in her pocket and headed for her quarters…

…………………………………………….

Meanwhile, as Jonathon wondered down the corridors of _Enterprise_, he started feeling… strange. His heartbeat increased and he felt jittery. It was hard for him to concentrate and he started to fidget. He even felt, what seemed like, excitement! _"What the hell?!"_ He had nothing to feel excited about! And it came on so suddenly. He'd been feeling this for some time… at least a few weeks.

Something _was not_ right.

He turned around and headed for sickbay, hoping to find some answers. But then again, maybe it was the bond. Perhaps he should talk to T'pol before going to Phlox. He knew that Phlox knew about their bond, but his mate comes first. After all; he didn't feel like having a long – usually up to four hours – talk with Phlox, not right now. All he needed to do was talk to T'pol.

But, what if she would fail to acknowledge the problem?

He tried to talk about it a few days ago, but she just dismissed it as being new to the bond:

_"How come you aren't feeling these 'side effects'?"_

_"I have been bonded before, Jonathon__; to Koss."_

_"Did this happen when you bonded to Koss?"_

_"I am Vulcan."_

_"I know that…"_

_"A Vulcan's mind is more disciplined than a Human's mind. All I __remember about being bonded to Koss__, and want to remember, is that I felt irregular for a few days. I most likely meditated and suppressed it. You might feel strange for a few days as your mind adjusts to me being a part of it."_

_"That sounds 'logical'."_

_"Indeed."_

_"How long before it dissipates?"_

_"Unknown."_

_"And if it doesn't?"_

_"__We__ wi__ll 'cross that bridge when we come to it'."_

He noticed that during their whole conversation, she didn't make eye contact. She kept on swallowing hard. He even noticed that he couldn't enter her mind through their bond. Those, except for not being able to enter her mind, are all signs of… lying. _"No, she wouldn't lie to me. After all; 'Vulcan's don't lie'."_ He thought harder, _"Maybe she's not __lying;__ she's just… hiding something.__ No, she would never do that to me! What am I even thinking?"_ He was starting to get confused. He needed to talk to T'pol, NOW!

………………………………

As T'pol entered the privacy of her quarters, she noticed she couldn't stop the adrenaline rush that was surging through her shaking body. She hurriedly put the trellium into a liquefier and, once it was liquid, administered it into herself. Oh, the feel of this warm liquid rushing through her veins! She had come to love the feeling as the trellium entered her. The way it made her feel, the emotions it released from her!

There was just this _one little thing_ that she hated about taking trellium. She always felt guilty afterwards. And this one question had come to her mind lately: _"What if I get __addicted? What if I already am? What would I tell Jonathon?" _

_………………………………………_

In the mess hall, Travis, Hoshi, and Malcolm were all eating their desert. Travis noticed how Malcolm kept glancing over at Hoshi. Whenever he did, Travis just started _laughing_!

"What it is, Travis?!" a giggling Malcolm asked.

"Nothin'," said Travis, still laughing.

"Oh sure," chimed in Hoshi, sarcastically. "Nobody just sits there, eating pie, laughing at 'nothing', Travis. C'mon, what the heck is so funny?"

"Really, it's nothing. Just… go back to eating," Travis exclaimed, _still_ laughing, but mostly at what Hoshi said, now.

"Well, you know Travis, it's difficult to eat whenever the person right across from you keeps laughing every five minutes, making you jump in your seat!" remarked Malcolm, giggling.

"I'm sorry. It's just so… funny!"

"What?!" asked Hoshi and Malcolm in unison.

"The way Malcolm keeps looking at _you_ whenever _you're_ not looking."

"What?!"Again asked Hoshi and Malcolm in unison.

Malcolm was the first to recover. Smiling, he said, "Travis, that pie has gone to your bloody head. I have_ no_ idea as to what you're talking about."

"Sure," Travis said sarcastically.

All was silent for a few minutes, until…

"Hey, have you guys noticed anything strange about the Sub Commander?"

"I haven't."

"Neither have I. Why, have you?"

"Yeah. The way she stares at the Captain, how emotional she's been acting. And, I went to the locker room, where the ev-suits are kept because I left something there, and noticed one missing today, just before I came here. At that same time, I didn't see the Sub Commander on the bridge several minutes ago. I think maybe _she_ was using it."

"I wasn't told of any away missions," whined Travis.

"Maybe she likes to play dress up," Malcolm joked.

"No! It's something else. Anyway, keep your eye open and let's keep this between us. It may be nothing."

"Good idea. If I see anything unusual, I'll let y'all know," said Travis.

"So will I," agreed Malcolm.

Hoshi could only nod in agreement, having stuffed her face with chocolate pie.

…………………………….

T'pol hid everything in the closed locker next to their bed, for Jonathon would be coming soon. She _couldn't_ let him find out! As soon as she finished shoving the liquefier and hypo-sprayer out of sight, the door opened and in walked Jonathon. He looked very, very… unsettled.

"Good evening, T'hy'la. How was your shift?" T'pol asked, walking over to her bondmate and giving him a sound kiss on the lips. She was sincerely trying hard to keep herself acting normal, as she had done several other times.

"It was fine," Jonathon remarked unemotionally. He didn't know how to block his thoughts from her, but tried as best he could not to show the question T'pol so clearly saw in his eyes. He saw the charm around her neck.

"Jonathon, I cannot enter your mind. Are you hiding something?"

"No. Are you?'

"Why would you ask that?"

"I can't enter _your_ mind either."

"Perhaps you are still trying to – "

"Get used to the bond?" Jonathon finished. He didn't know if she was hiding anything or not, but he knew _something_ was up. "Look, T'pol, you've been acting _really_ different lately. I want to know what it is."

"It is nothing."

"I also want to know why these 'getting used to the bond' symptoms are still acting up."

"Describe them."

"They aren't persistent; they just… pop up at least every other day. I get excited – with nothing to be excited about, I start to fidget. I get what feels like… an adrenaline rush. I don't know if you understand what that is, but…"

T'pol thought for a moment. _"Strange, those are the same things I feel whenever I use the trellium. Maybe the bond __is__ strong between us. And how can he shield his min__d? I haven't taught him how yet!__"_

Jonathon took his communicator out of his pocket and headed for the closed locker next to their bed.

T'pol could only watch.

If she tried to stop him, he would become more suspicious. In both ways, he would find out.

What to do now?

As soon as he opened the locker door, the liquefier and hypo-sprayer fell to the floor. He looked down, then at T'pol, then inside the locker. He picked up the liquefier first. "What is this?"

"A… liquefier," T'pol answered shamefully.

He set it on the bed and went back to pick up the hypo-sprayer. "I know what this is, but I don't know what it's doing here." He looked at her sternly, "Do you?"

"Yes," she whispered, fidgeting with her fingers.

"You mind telling me?"

"Yes," she repeated in the same manner.

"T'pol, what the hell is going on?!" He asked firmly.

She looked up at him, speechless. She didn't know what else to do but… to run. As she headed for the door, a strong arm held her back. She tried to escape from it, but Jonathon turned her around and hugged her to his chest… and not planning to let go anytime soon. She struggled to be set free, but he wasn't about to let her. She was able to bring her fists to his chest and she started to hit him repeatedly, saying – _crying – _in Vulcan, "Ti'amah! Ti'amah!" (Let me go! Let me go!)

Finally, about two minutes later, she stopped. If Jonathon wouldn't have been holding her, she would have dropped to the ground. Crying loudly, she hugged Jonathon's neck. He picked her up and carried her over to their bed. As he set her down on his lap, she tightened her embrace around him. He did the same. She laid her head upon his shoulder with her face buried in his neck, sobbing and whimpering. She was getting her saliva all over his neck, but he didn't care at the moment. One hand was gripping the fabric of his uniform, the other laid on his chest.

_"T'pol, we have to communicate.__ Tell me everything… truthfully! I have never seen you like this before. Please,__"_Jonathon sent through their now open bond.

_"It is difficult to explain in words. Allow me to meld with you, that way you can see the truth from your eyes," _she sent back. Even when she communicated through the bond her voice was wavering.

_"Okay, go ahead."_

T'pol quickly straddled his lap and put her fingers on his contact points. As she entered his mind, she kept telling him that she loved him. Then, she opened her mind and let him explore every inch of the truth she had been hiding from him. He was shocked and upset at her. Not only at the illogical excuse she made, but that she hid it from him too! How could she?!

Of course, T'pol picked up every stray thought of his. She expected him to become angry, and could only hope he would be just as forgiving. She ended the meld and stepped off of him, still crying, but not as loud.

He got up to and went towards the inter comm. "Archer to Tucker," he demanded.

"Tucker here, sir. What can I do fer ya?" Trip noticed the tone in his Captains voice… like he was _extremely _pissed off.

"I need you to dispose all of the trellium through the transporter… now!"

"Yes sir. Tucker out." He knew not to ask why.

"T'pol, we need to go to sickbay. I want to find out what will happen to you. I know trellium is harmful to Vulcan's, and I really am concerned for you."

"Do you still wish to be my bondmate, after everything I've done?"

"T'pol, I will always love you, even if I am upset with you. I don't want to hear that question ever again. Go clean up your face and I'll take you to sickbay."

T'pol enjoyed knowing he was so protective of her, not wanting anyone to know she had been crying her eyes out. She also knew she shouldn't probably argue with him.

As she got into the lavatory, she turned on the warm water and pumped soap into her hands. She rubbed in the wonderful soap that smelled of roses and vanilla and then washed it off with the warm, relaxing water. When she was finished, she came out only to see Jonathon tear-eyed. She felt ashamed… so ashamed.

"Jonathon, I didn't want to hurt you like this. I… love you. I have been a horrid bondmate for you. I don't understand how you could ever want someone like… me."

"Someone like you?"

"Well, yes…"

"T'pol, like I said: I love you too much to let you go. I'm going to help you through this, even if I have to put you in the brig to keep you away from that stuff. Besides, I already told Trip to get rid of it anyway. We are going to win this _together_. Do you understand?"

"Yes. We should head to sickbay. I don't want to waste any time becoming myself again."


End file.
